Where Has My Little Girl Gone?

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The older I get the faster the years seem to zoom by!! When my daughter turned 10, I kept telling my friends that I couldn’t come to grips that I had been a parent for a whole decade……I still felt like I was a newbie to the world of parenting!! I just got used to being a mom of toddlers. Now I am a mom to a pre-teen and all the glamor that that entails…changing body chemistry,  new interests, sarcasm and her acute ability to see my flaws and short comings.

Can time be reversed? I tried putting the incorrect number candle on birthday cakes and giving lectures regarding aging backwards…..both ideas were not received well 🙂

So I am trying a different approach. After mourning and grieving the loss of my little girl, I am now embracing(sometimes) the joys and challenges of becoming a mom to a budding young woman.

She loves to serve others; she likes to try new recipes; she has a new sense of self and emerging personality. She is also trying this new staring thing when I ask her a question…..not sure what that is except my husband says she gets it from me…..what is he talking about?!! I love my big girl. It is not always easy, but I am witnessing who she is becoming. I am excited for the purpose and possibility of her life and seeing it all unfold. There will be triumphs, heartache, joy and disappointment. I pray for her faith to grow strong, and that God will show me how to be a blessing to her.

What I am still having a hard time with is that from now on, every 2 years another child of mine will enter into this phase…..yikes!

So as I have resolved to enjoy, embrace, and equip myself for this next step, my husband, on the other hand, has chosen to stay in denial!! What can I say….girls will always stay  little when it comes their daddies 🙂

Does anyone have resources, advice they would like to share??

 

 

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Thinking on Transtions

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Transition. That word has been on my mind a lot lately. It pertains to so many areas of life, and it can be approached in a positive or negative way.

Transition: noun

1.movement, passage, or change from one position, state,subject, concept, etc., to another; change:

example; the transition from adolescence to adulthood.

I’ve sort of started analyzing transitions going on in my life and started dissecting them a bit….because that’s my thing; I love to tweak and analyze. It helps me process change and it fills my cup. Usually taking my cup from half empty to half full. So, please join me on my mini analysis of a couple transitions.

Location transition has been something I’ve embraced. We’ve moved several times over the past 15 years so I have experienced new city/state transitions over and over again. I pretty much dig it. To this day my mother is shocked by the fact that I love moving. I was the little girl who sat by her feet and didn’t want to go to sleep overs. Honestly, I think my mother’s compassion and respect for my feelings by not pushing me to do the various things I did not want to do (nor could handle at that age) helped to mature me into the grown woman who loves and embraces adventure. Go figure.

I love moving to new states, investigating the area, finding a new, probably temporary, place to live, and pretty much diving into a fun new life- adventure. You might think a quick trip somewhere could feel the same, but it doesn’t. At least to me it doesn’t. The fact that you are setting new roots and exploring all the inner workings of a new city brings it to a level that travel only touches on. Moving transitions can be sad for all you have to leave behind (family, friends) but I’ve found those relationships stay strong as you work harder to stay in touch and share about your new area. From our experience, the transition that moving involves has been really fun.The key, for us, has been to transition slowly into our new surroundings. Finding a fun new diner or new playground each week helped us to transition in a positive way.

The transition of age has been a bit harder {for me}. As our children grow from stage to stage, the easing into transition has been emotional {for me}.  The hardest thing has been realizing and watching our boys go from the elementary age to being teens. Woah Nelly, this has been a roller coaster for my emotions. Watching our boys grow and change caused a wave of realization to come over me…..I thought about all the things that were ending, all the no-mores, and suddenly I found myself walking into their room in the middle of the night just to look at them or give them a hug and even cry a little.

At the start of this transition I thought about and analyzed all the negatives. And, man, it would bring me to a dark place. A really sad and lonely mama place. Eventually, I got a little tired of that sad, melancholy feeling. I prayed, I vented, and prayed some more. What I realized I needed was to change the way I viewed this transition into the teen years. Every time a sad thought would come flooding into my brain, I would replace it with a positive thought. Eventually, I have started to embrace and enjoy this stage of teen transition. Instead of mourning the loss of the single digit years, I have started embracing and loving the 13+ years. I’m trying not to look too far into the future, just trying to enjoy each day with my teens. I’ve found that the more positive I am about this new stage, the happier my teens are. I still get a little weepy from time to time….thinking about how the years are flying by, but those momentary tears are surrounded by a lot of laughter and energy. Teens are pretty awesome.

Transitions can be so hard both emotionally and mentally. If possible, choosing to find the good things, the positive within the transition, can help in so many ways.  It’s comforting to know that through all our life transitions there is one thing that doesn’t change  ….“Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8