It’s been a long day. I know my hubby had an equally long day, so I’m sure he was ecstatic to receive my texts as he was heading home.
“I am so done with your children. I know you’re tired too, but please be prepared to do all the interacting with them.”
“When are you going to be here???” (Yeah, I’m sure he was rushing home to encounter me in all my loveliness at this point.)
“They have nothing. Nothing. Don’t even think of letting them look at a screen forever.” (Nothing like being a bit overdramatic in my discipline.)
“One person. That is all I am.” ( At this point, I’m sure he’s trying to think of somewhere he needs to go.)
You see, I forget so easily and I get so mad at myself for doing it. I forget that this is my calling, actually all of our callings. We are servants, called to pour out our lives for others, and in motherhood, those others are our children. When I let myself forget that, then I become the victim in my own eyes, offended that my children are children. Somehow distraught that this thing called mothering is training for a lifetime.
I was pondering this a couple months ago during communion at our church. We take communion every Sunday and it is something that I have grown to love. This remembering what Christ did for us keeps it on the forefront of my heart during the week. His brokenness, not only in His death, but also how He lived His life, is our example. If I am truly His, then I am joining myself with Him in this, taking up my cross, dying to myself and my own needs, and living for others. Now, I am not talking about putting yourself last and burning out so that you can’t even do what you need to. I will be the first one to tell any mama to take care of herself first so that she can be there for her family. I’m talking about in our hearts and souls. Seeing all the things that we do for our families, all of the needs pulling us in different directions, as gifts of sacrifice to our Lord. We are serving Him when we serve our family. We are loving Him when we love them.
We are dying to ourselves when we:
choose kindness instead of harshness
choose patience instead of frustration
choose love instead of negativity
choose a heavenly perspective instead of only seeing the here and now
choose to follow Jesus as an example, digging deep even from brokenness, to bring life to those around us
I was just finishing this up as my littlest one came running down the stairs…yet again…this time throwing himself into my arms.
“One more kiss…I love you, Mama.” Oh, so worth it, right? Hopefully I’ll remember earlier tomorrow…
4 thoughts on “Broken with Him”
This was so beautiful and real! Thank you for sharing!!! I can relate.
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Laughing out loud… 😄
Been there. Done that. Felt that remorse. We are growing, indeed.
Thank you for sharing!
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Reblogged this on sonyaelisefriar and commented:
I agree completely with all of you gals, Claire Incardona Ditkowski and with Angela, the author of the post. I will add to it though that not even 1 1/2 years into marriage and my own parenting of my beautiful sweet girl stepdaughter that I knew something was off with me. I was not the me I wanted so deeply to be and so I began to pray and seek wisdom from God with desperate urgency. Worship & prayer & the Bible reading were all amazing but they were not all that God had for me personally. He led me to a product called THRIVE and a company called Le-Vel & just in the first two weeks of my own starting taking their amazing #8WeekTHRIVEExperience, I was amazed to find myself again! I mean the me that had limitless quantities of hope and patience and abounding joy in all circumstances! I felt like the me I had been around the end of high school & throughout my full time missionary years. It is such a blessing to know that just by putting in that premium nutrition BOTH in my spirit and my body that I can be my best self again! I will ALWAYS be a Christian first and foremost & a THRIVER second; but they are mutually compatible in the best possible way! If you haven’t had a chance to watch the movie Joy, rent it & you will see exactly what I’m talking about; sometimes the us that was us as child full of hopes and great big gigantic dreams seems to have disappeared; but, rest assured, they ARE still in there! Have a wonderful day!!! And if you have any questions feel free to hit me up by PM or go to my link at SonyaFriar.le-vel.com 💞💞💞