Sometimes it’s a gradual descent into darkness and sometimes it just hits you out of nowhere.
A girlfriend of mine and her teenage daughter came for coffee and showed me a video of the teenager at a self -defense class. There was this tiny little wisp of a girl standing on the mat, her eyes closed in total darkness, in total silence as her attacker silently crept around her. She couldn’t hear him, or see him until that very moment when he jumped and attacked. My insides started shaking just watching her! And I knew it was a class, knew she was just fine as she sat and showed me the video! Dressed in full pads and face mask, suddenly he threw himself at her and grabbed her from behind. I couldn’t help but laugh as she fought him so hard that he called it….called it because her hit had broken the face mask and cut his face. This girl used what she had learned and fought. Fought back against an attacker much bigger and stronger than she…not knowing where it was coming from….trained to be ready.
My last post on this blog was about letting go, when my youngest little boy turned 6. Since then, my oldest turned 20 (yes, that’s a whole new mama crisis). But in that 5 weeks in between I was in a bad place. Mary calls it a funk! Slowly the attacks came, pulling me down gradually, almost to a point where I didn’t see how far down I was. The thing was, it wasn’t anything that was a life changer…as I sit here typing life is back to normal (as in the normal craziness of mamahood…it feels like it shouldn’t be the norm, but we all know it is). It was little things.
My 3 youngest got sick. Not the kind of sick where we have couch and a t.v. day for a day or two, but the kind of sick where I wore a hole in the pavement going back and forth to the doctor for 3 weeks…strep, ear infections, horrible viruses, migraines, bronchitis and asthma attacks. One after the other….after the other….and then again as soon as someone got better. The hubs was traveling for work. Life was still going with all its responsibilities. Finally healthy, I threw out my back and ended up with muscle relaxants that turned me into…let’s just be nice and say a different person. I don’t do medication well, and between the constant pain and then coming off those every morning…my family was ready to run for the hills. Now, I know any mama reading that paragraph has been through something like this, numerous times…you get it!
Many times, the attack is much worse…
A phone call that leaves you on your knees
A road of sickness
A broken relationship
A rebellious child
A situation completely out of your control
A loss that brings perspective you never wanted
I’ve had an experience like that as well. As have you.
I was thinking about that video. She was prepared and ready. Ready to fight!
Psalm 144:1-2 says, “Blessed be the Lord, my Rock and my keen and firm strength, Who teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight– My steadfast love and my fortress, my high tower and my deliverer, my shield and He in whom I trust and take refuge.”
It’s in Him that we find strength for the battles. It’s in His word that we find hope in the darkness.
Psalm 18:28-39 says, “For you cause my lamp to be lighted and to shine, the Lord my God illumines my darkness.
For by You I can run through a troop and by my God I can leap over a wall.
As for God, His way is perfect! The word of God is tested and tried: He is a shield to all those who take refuge and put their trust in Him.
For who is God except the Lord? Or who is the rock save our God.
The God who girds me with strength and makes my way perfect?
He makes my feet like hind’s feet [able to stand firmly or make progress on the dangerous heights of testing and trouble]: He sets me securely upon the high places.
He teaches my hands to war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your right hand has held me up.
You have given me plenty of room for my steps under me that my feet would not slip…
You have girded me with strength for the battle…..
Ephesians 6 talks about the armor of God…being ready for the battle. In verse 10, it says, “Be strong in the Lord [empowered through your union with Him] draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. As for me, I need this every day. Every day can seem like something comes against us. His word is what brings hope and light to any darkness in our lives. My sweet mama friends, this is what we need to face whatever our day brings. In the devastation or the annoyances, it’s His grace and strength that brings us through. Will you look to Him today with me? He loves you. He sees you in whatever you are facing. He is pleased with your faithfulness in doing this mama thing, day after day for His precious little ones. Look to Him. Lean on Him. Let’s let Him train our hands for the battle and be ready to face whatever comes our way.