Thinking on Transtions

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Transition. That word has been on my mind a lot lately. It pertains to so many areas of life, and it can be approached in a positive or negative way.

Transition: noun

1.movement, passage, or change from one position, state,subject, concept, etc., to another; change:

example; the transition from adolescence to adulthood.

I’ve sort of started analyzing transitions going on in my life and started dissecting them a bit….because that’s my thing; I love to tweak and analyze. It helps me process change and it fills my cup. Usually taking my cup from half empty to half full. So, please join me on my mini analysis of a couple transitions.

Location transition has been something I’ve embraced. We’ve moved several times over the past 15 years so I have experienced new city/state transitions over and over again. I pretty much dig it. To this day my mother is shocked by the fact that I love moving. I was the little girl who sat by her feet and didn’t want to go to sleep overs. Honestly, I think my mother’s compassion and respect for my feelings by not pushing me to do the various things I did not want to do (nor could handle at that age) helped to mature me into the grown woman who loves and embraces adventure. Go figure.

I love moving to new states, investigating the area, finding a new, probably temporary, place to live, and pretty much diving into a fun new life- adventure. You might think a quick trip somewhere could feel the same, but it doesn’t. At least to me it doesn’t. The fact that you are setting new roots and exploring all the inner workings of a new city brings it to a level that travel only touches on. Moving transitions can be sad for all you have to leave behind (family, friends) but I’ve found those relationships stay strong as you work harder to stay in touch and share about your new area. From our experience, the transition that moving involves has been really fun.The key, for us, has been to transition slowly into our new surroundings. Finding a fun new diner or new playground each week helped us to transition in a positive way.

The transition of age has been a bit harder {for me}. As our children grow from stage to stage, the easing into transition has been emotional {for me}.  The hardest thing has been realizing and watching our boys go from the elementary age to being teens. Woah Nelly, this has been a roller coaster for my emotions. Watching our boys grow and change caused a wave of realization to come over me…..I thought about all the things that were ending, all the no-mores, and suddenly I found myself walking into their room in the middle of the night just to look at them or give them a hug and even cry a little.

At the start of this transition I thought about and analyzed all the negatives. And, man, it would bring me to a dark place. A really sad and lonely mama place. Eventually, I got a little tired of that sad, melancholy feeling. I prayed, I vented, and prayed some more. What I realized I needed was to change the way I viewed this transition into the teen years. Every time a sad thought would come flooding into my brain, I would replace it with a positive thought. Eventually, I have started to embrace and enjoy this stage of teen transition. Instead of mourning the loss of the single digit years, I have started embracing and loving the 13+ years. I’m trying not to look too far into the future, just trying to enjoy each day with my teens. I’ve found that the more positive I am about this new stage, the happier my teens are. I still get a little weepy from time to time….thinking about how the years are flying by, but those momentary tears are surrounded by a lot of laughter and energy. Teens are pretty awesome.

Transitions can be so hard both emotionally and mentally. If possible, choosing to find the good things, the positive within the transition, can help in so many ways.  It’s comforting to know that through all our life transitions there is one thing that doesn’t change  ….“Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

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It’s a bright sunshiny day….or not

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The snow is starting to melt and the sun is shining. That right there….the sun is shining. In our city it’s a rare and awesome thing. It’s amazing how the sun can fuel my energy. It makes me want to de-clutter, organize, and clean. As soon as the clouds cover that beautiful sun, all I want to do is stay in my pjs, grab a book, and get on the couch.

It’s funny how when the sun is shining my perspective seems clearer. Hope seems more obtainable. Everything seems a bit brighter.
The thing is, on those other days, the days where it’s grey outside and everything feels gloomy….how do we bring in some synthetic sun? How do we find some oomph to get us through the gloom? Hopefully, we’ve been implementing a self-care routine {even one thing}, but we may need an added jolt to give a good spark to our day.

A few quick oomph starters….

1. Write….journal, get those thoughts out, send a note to a loved one. Writing sometimes clears the head which allows space for other {hopefully better} thoughts.
2. Beverage of choice and an inspiring book. Maybe tea? Whatever is your cup of tea….(pun intended) flavor or book choice
3. Some form of exercise. A walk, some jumping jacks in your family room, stretching. Anything that gets your body moving gets those good endorphins pumping through your body.
4. Get out of the house if you can. Even a trip to Wegmans or Target can make a difference.
5. And fill your mind with good thoughts

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8

Letting go….

023The high schooler and I were talking SATs and college stuff when he mentioned a certain far away college to go along with his very dangerous occupation of choice at the moment. This of course sent my head into my hands with great lamentations. My 9 year old said, “Well, Mom, they can’t stay small forever.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did some of both. Poor boys. It’s this business of letting go. I’m just not a big fan, and I’m realizing that it’s not just in these big things…it’s happening all the time.

We are a family of all boys, so you can imagine what my boys have done to the “Let it go” song, having a marvelous time making it gross and then laughing hysterically. Did I just ruin it for you forever? Yeah, me, too.

‘Let it go’refers to the act of releasing or relinquishing.

When Mr. College Boy was 6, I had the high schooler toddling around with his curls and dimples. When he was six, my older little was born, allowing us back into the precious “littles” days. Then when he was six, my littlest was still little! Now the that baby is turning six this week, and I’m sorry, but the puppy is just not cutting it.

IMAG0770Every season is a new stage of letting go, of saying goodbye to an age or time, or grieving a “last”. They sneak up on you, those lasts. The baby stops nursing, moves out of a crib, sends you away so he can wash himself in the big boy shower (yes, Mom, I let him. He gets generally clean)….it’s letting go. They get on that kindergarten school bus, or they go to their friends for that first away from mama play date. They drive away for the first time alone, or walk that graduation stage, or have to face adult consequences for the first time…it’s all letting go. For us mamas, I think it can be an issue of knowing if they will be okay. It’s releasing the control of being the one who makes sure they are safe, secure, and loved. We want the best for them, to not be hurt, to not make wrong choices, to flourish wherever they are. In the end, we have to trust in how we’ve raised them or are raising them, and in the Lord, who we gave them to in the beginning. All along they’ve been in God’s hands, a whole lifetime of releasing, of relinquishing control to the One who loves them even more that we do. It’s knowing that even if they choose differently than we would have or when they embark on their own path, He will never let them go- He never gives up on them or relinquishes His call or love for them. And that is the very best place for them to be.