As our children get older, they change. Go figure!  Let’s take the time to study them.  Let’s sit with them as they watch movies, allow them to cook a meal (and make a mess), and plan time with just them to ask questions.  Take some time to think about your child’s languages.  

How do they express frustration?   My older son tends to argue.  My younger son shouts, punches, and throws things.  My daughter stomps off to her room and shuts the door.  

How do they express love?  My older son plays with my hair and gives me a kiss on my nose.  My younger son asks me to lay with him at bedtime and says, at random times, “Mom, I love you.”   My daughter barely speaks to me at all.  She disappears into her room to do homework, only comes out for dinner, and gives me one word answers about her day. BUT she asks me to braid her hair, she asks for a granola bar in her lunch, and she asks me to help her study science.  Right now, these are her expressions of love.  Asking.  

So I say, “YES.”  Sometimes it’s not easy.  I don’t REALLY want to braid wet hair at 10:15 at night, or study Earth Science (which I already passed!) on a Thursday night when I need to prepare to teach my co-op class. But I challenge you, as the Lord has challenged me…Keep studying!  

I will do my best to keep studying my children to see what they need from me, what they no longer need, and what they need from God.  Then I can show them love by meeting needs, coaching them, and pointing them to God who can fulfill their deepest spiritual, emotional, and physical deficits.  All my studying leads me to notice the empty spots in their lives that Jesus can fill.  I pray that by HIS grace, they will see their need for Jesus and ask Him to fill them, too.