Yesterday I ate crow. Not the way most people do. No one but me knew it, but I ate it just the same. I watched a funny Facebook conversation turn sour when someone ignored another person who said they didn’t want to debate, then proceeded to correct the person who tried to call them out on it. I made a comment that I deeply believe. “Honor should come before your need to be right.” The problem is, though I believe it, I don’t often live it in my home.
Why do we insist people listen to us when we think we are right? Why can’t we just let it go when, though we might be right, the situation isn’t the right setting to spout off our beliefs or opinions? I had to contemplate that yesterday. Here’s what I came up with. Maybe it just applies to me, but I think you’ll be able to relate.
I want to be right when I’m emotionally involved. I might be emotionally involved because I have a deep relationship with the person and want them to see my side of things. I also want to be right when something touches my emotions. In my house, it’s usually that someone has set off a bad emotion in me, I blow up, correct the other person, then play the blame game, because I want to be justified in my actions and words. Though I completely lost it and handled it the wrong way, I feel a little justified because I also corrected the other person where they were wrong.
What makes me react this way? It’s usually unmet expectations, because I have a control issue. (Time for me to learn from Ginger’s post.) Perhaps it’s because my to-do list is not going to be completed because of the needs of one or more of the other people in my household. Or maybe my children’s behavior doesn’t live up to my ideals. I mean, they’re my kids. I expect them to think and act just like me, right? Actually, I expect more from them than I do from myself. I often expect perfection, as if they are robots made to do my bidding, rather than complex and extremely valuable individuals.
My kids see the real me, the me I don’t hide from others. They see me when I’m tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed, angry, etc. Then they hear me nag, correct, yell, and make excuses for my words and actions. So after posting, “honor should come before your need to be right,” I have a few questions for myself. When did it become ok to not practice this with my own family? If I can’t lead by example, how can I train my kids to honor people more than they love opinions and beliefs?
I honestly haven’t figured out a solution. The only answer I’ve come up with is this prayer. I’d like to pray it daily for awhile and see if some changes are made around here. If you’d like to join me, here’s King and Country’s song Proof of Your Love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgqYYk-0wDs