Hats of a Minivan Mom

Minivan

We moms wear many hats every day, but have you ever stopped to name the hats you wear while driving your kids from place to place? I bet you can relate to these and will even come up with a few more after reading mine.

Megaphone Hat: The one you wear while trying to have a conversation with someone in the way back seat when everyone else is making noise while driving down the highway.

Referee Hat: Remember those kids sitting way in the back? Now they’re fighting about a noise someone made or an arm that crossed the invisible line.

Elastigirl (Mrs. Incredible) Hat: Worn when tantrum throwing toddler whines and cries for the toy he dropped and wants you to reach, because he needs it this second. Also worn when contorting your arm to either reach for a snack at the bottom of the diaper bag (which is behind the driver seat) or to stroke your baby’s cheek when he’s crying.

Chef Hat: When you have to pass snacks and drinks out to everyone because they are soooo hungry!

Losing My Mind, Maybe It Fell Into My Lead Foot Hat: The baby’s screaming and neither your Cooing Hat or your Singing Hat are doing the trick. You can’t take another second. You look down and see you’re going 15 miles above the speed limit, because, even though this feels like an out of body experience, your foot’s brain says, “the faster I drive, the faster this torture ends.”

I’m starting a petition. You see, I’ve never gotten a ticket and I should be rewarded for that. Moms can’t just wear the Driver Hat when going from point A to point B with only the slight distraction of the radio. How on earth do we get our family anywhere safely when so much is going on in our vehicle? Because on top of all these hats we wear the Super Mom Hat, that’s how. So insurance companies, we moms think you need to start a new deductible incentive just for us –  the “many hat wearing momma clean driving record” deductible.

 

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2 thoughts on “Hats of a Minivan Mom

  1. cditkowski

    the “many hat wearing momma clean driving record” deductible…. I can almost hear Dennis Haysbert promoting it now on an Allstate commercial.

    Like

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