- “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
Tonight as I was rocking my 1 1/2 year old, I made up a little song that said, “You’re my dream come true, and I love you.” Let me tell you about that dream.
Six years ago, back when my daughter was two, I remember being content with our family for the moment, knowing we weren’t finished growing it yet. When she turned three, I was itching to have a baby, and each year after that the baby bug would bite harder.
Shortly after we bought our 4 bedroom house, my husband, Will and I had “the baby” conversation. I wanted to fill that fourth bedroom and reminded him that we dreamed of four kids when we were engaged. He reminded me that we didn’t plan to have our first 3 children in less than 3 years. That was such a hard, chaotic time, that he couldn’t ever picture starting over, not even with one baby.
Will was in a job he didn’t like, he was depressed, and felt like he was barely able to survive. He had stopped dreaming and lost all sense of vision for himself and our family. He was actually rather upset with me for holding on to this dream of baby number 4, and was even bitter that I, being a stay-at-home-mom, was able to live out one of my very big dreams, when he could barely keep treading water. We had a fight about changes that should or shouldn’t happen in our family and ended up compromising for a season in order to keep the peace between us. I remember running to my friend, Claire (a fellow 5 mama) for prayer and to have a good cry.
A few months after this Will lost his job. (I’ll write a post about God’s provision during that time at a later date.) During the weeks Will had no work, God gave him rest, vision, and helped him to dream again.
A few months later, I timidly asked Will to seek God about why he didn’t want to have another child. My desire was getting so strong it was almost heartbreaking. I was praying God would take it away if it wasn’t from him, or change Will’s heart if it was. I wanted to be on the same page as my God and my husband.
That same day, my sweet husband sent me a text that basically said, “I’m sorry that every time you have tried to bring up the baby discussion I have shot you down. I realize I have hurt your heart. I will take my feelings to God and see what he says.”
God showed Will that his reason for not wanting more children was based on fear. Will told God, “How would I ever agree to have another baby when I can barely provide for the ones you’ve given us already?” God said, “What you’re really saying is that you don’t trust me. Haven’t you seen that I am your provider? Whether you’ve had a good job or not, your family hasn’t been in lack. You don’t want another child because you don’t trust me.” My husband chose to deal with that. He decided that saying yes to baby number 4 was a great idea! In fact, after I got pregnant, he said, “I’m never saying no again. Let’s have another baby after this one so they can be playmates!” I said, “Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?? Would you please slow down? Let’s have this baby before we talk about more children.” What a total heart change! Praise be to God!
I remember at my baby shower, Claire gave me a card that said she had been praying for my heart’s desire to be realized since that day I came running to her for prayer. She was rejoicing with me that our fourth baby was finally on his way! I cried when I read the card, floored by God’s faithfulness.
Our fourth baby, Joel, was born at the end of 2013. During his first year, there were many times I would look at him and just be in awe that my dream had become a reality. I know God has big plans for his life, and I’ll always say that the great story of his life started with my God-given dream.
When Joel was 9 months old, we found out we were expecting baby number 5! Daniel is the “immeasurably more than we could ask for or ever imagine,” our very loved baby that we didn’t even dream of until Joel was on his way.
Meet my Dream Come True, and my Immeasurably More: